How Do YOU Want to Be Remembered?

This is how it all started…

Having a wonderful lunch with a sweet friend in the fight for her life, she commented, “I just don’t want to be forgotten.” I assured her, there was nothing about her or this journey that is forgettable. If anything, she continues to give us so much that is MEMORABLE. I sat in my car that afternoon and wondered, “how would I be remembered?”

Then, an introduction as I was taking the mic to speak to a group. “Darlene Ellison, the busiest woman I know.” Thanks or ouch? I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

Finally, the sudden death by heart attack of a longtime classmate from elementary and high school. How was he being remembered? I loved his siblings’ memories, as well as those of our fellow grade school classmates.

And the urge, no, the NEED to write this blog kept pulling at me. How would I be remembered by those who have known me throughout my 51 years if today was my last day? In my quietest moments with myself these past 2 weeks, I felt like I needed to take a hard look at this.

Why? Because I believe that we are learning every day. I believe we are changing every day…evolving.

Did I want to be remembered as the woman whose first marriage read like a Danielle Steel novel? NO!

Did I want to be remembered as the woman who had lots of jobs across her adult professional life? NO!

Did I want to be remembered as the busiest woman you know? HELL NO!

How do I want to be remembered?

As the woman who worked thru her pain and got back up from being on her knees in quicksand.

As the woman who wasn’t afraid to try new things when life threw her curveballs or a whole trashcan of lemons.

As the woman who loved fiercely – her husband, her children, her family and her friends.


As the woman who, yes, juggles a lot of balls in the air but does so with finesse and efficiency.

As the woman who lives in every moment and cherishes the time – no, cherishes the EXPERIENCES and STORIES – she has with friends and family.

As the woman who is not afraid to do, to try, to ask to build a meaningful life.

How about you, SHE friends? How would you be remembered if you made a list RIGHT NOW of what you thought people might say about you?

Seriously, make the list.

Then make a new list of how you WANT to be remembered.

Then read it back to yourself and be a “goal getter.”

My goals are not about money, cars or things. My goals are about leaving a legacy of love, laughter, living in the moment and seizing what every moment brings us.

Living a life of style and grace and peace and sharing that with those I encounter.

Never forgotten…and remembered for all the things that count.


Note from the SHE Files:
You are in control of how you will be remembered – the time is now

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Vicky Gillispie
Vicky Gillispie
5 years ago

Darlene, Thank you for your post this morning. I have been praying for a dear friend that lost her son in August and whose husband suffered a stroke a few years ago. She is a very busy christian woman that is trying to deal with her grief as well as a husband that is not supportive. I believe that God put this on your heart just for my friend Diane and I am anxious to share with her. Please pray for her healing and finding her new path in life.