It’s Time to Have the “Perspective Talk”

A couple of weeks ago I was in Waco, TX for one of my India Hicks shows. Throughout the 3 days I was there in my booth, at least half of the women who came by to visit asked about “the bug” incorporated on or inside of several of our ground-beetle-topIH Collection. They wrinkled their noses or had looks of amused confusion as they looked thru the scarves, clutches and smaller bags. But as I gave a brief explanation of the history of the ih-beetleScarab in Egyptian history and its symbolism of good luck – it’s known as the “good luck beetle” – each woman smiled, nodded their head and went back to the table to re-visit those products in the collection with a whole new perspective. Many even purchased a few items to give as gifts for friends that they felt could use a little extra luck.

Same products. Same beetle. New perspective.

Many years ago, about two years after the kids and I went thru all of our “stuff,” my son had a meltdown when he got into my car after school one day. It was very early in his middle school career and he was quite the little perfectionist. So, as he responded to my carpool mom question, “How was school,” he went spinning. He spoke quickly, taking few breaths, about how horrible his day was, how he was going to fail in middle school, how he hated school, all because he had received his first demerit. Yep, that little piece of paper that states you have broken a rule so now your parent must sign for you to return it the next day to the issuing teacher. I tried to hide my surprise that my little Mr. Perfectionist had been the recipient of such a “normal kid” prize. When I asked him what the offense was, he tossed the little piece of paper to me. He had gone to class without his pencil, so he was deemed “unprepared for class.” It took everything I had to “check my emotions” which ranged from “SERIOUSLY???” to wanting to absolutely laugh out loud (which I did not do, as I have a complete respect for my partners in parenting – my kids’ teachers – and their methods in helping the kids learn valuable life lessons.).

That is when I had an epic Mom Moment (probably a Bad Mom moment, given the circumstances). I said this to my son: “I realize you are upset. I realize you are frustrated. I realize you are scared of what will come next in Middle School. But, DUDE, you need to put this into perspective. Your biological father is in jail. We as a family have been thru the ringer. People are diagnosed with cancer. Parents lose their children. You forgot your pencil in school and got a piece of paper. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Seriously, put it into perspective.”

While I was quite serious back then, that has become quite the joke in our household, and that small tirade has been referred to as “the perspective talk.” In the now 10 years that have followed, when one of my children calls because “the sky is falling” in their world, or we are only one step away from Armageddon (sarcasm), I launch into the now endearing “perspective talk,”

So here it is…I, Darlene Ellison, who DOES NOT talk about politics, is going to say a few words about politics. Not who won or lost an election. Not who I did or did not vote for. I am only doing this because of a post I read on social media (seriously, can we PLEASE go back to posting cute pics of your children, pets and the food you are about to eat????). After a short post regarding the outcome of the election was this in regards to that thing we do every 4 years without fail: “I now know how the families of the victims of 9/11 felt.”   Wait, what? Do you mean the death of 2,977 Americans killed in the largest terrorism attack on U.S. soil? The one where thousands lost their fathers, mothers or children? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????

It’s time for the perspective talk.

Perspective is about taking emotion and fear out of something and seeing it for what it really is…in our own eyes. She-friends, when it comes to this year’s election results, some are angry. Some are fearful, Some are saddened. Some are curious. Some are happy. And every one of these feelings is ok, legitimate and should be respected because they are YOURS.

But, if I might dare to just inject a tiny bit of perspective based solely upon facts:

  1. I get to elect a President every four years
  2. Sometimes the winner is who I voted for, sometimes it is not
  3. You and I were friends before this election and we are friends now that it is over; how you voted has no bearing upon that to me
  4. The sky is not falling and we are not in Armageddon
  5. Hurting others or others’ property during what is designed to be a peaceful protest will not change the outcome of this election
  6. In the United States, no one person ever has all the power
  7. There is ALWAYS something worse

If you know me, you know that I am in absolutely no way attempting to minimalize what so many of us are feeling. We are all experiencing the unsettling feelings that come with this uncertainty.perspective

This past Friday, as we expressed gratitude to those who have served to ensure our American freedom, I was reminded that I am simply, in this moment, grateful.

I have my faith that reminds me WHO really matters, I enjoy good health, I am blessed with my family (immediate and extended), I have friends that are loving and supportive, I have a roof over my head and food to nourish my body. I choose to live my life with love and live out loud.

Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it is not. Sometimes, SHE-friends, it is about perspective.



Note from the SHE Files: Keepin’ it in perspective is good for the soul